i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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