sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
