just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
