ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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