He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize