every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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