Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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