I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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