I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
