your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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