i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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