we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize