He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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