It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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