she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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