cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
