Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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