Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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