some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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