Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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