he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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