Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
