and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
