Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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