How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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