you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
