Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
this will be a night to untag.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
