I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize