she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I want to fling myself into the sun
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