Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
