I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
