Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
two words...techno handjob
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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