For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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