**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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