he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
