to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
