And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
