Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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