Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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