I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
