The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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