Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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