hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
