3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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