We won't sleep together?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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