Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I could fuck to npr.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
