And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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