I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
