Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
