I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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