My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
