If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
they need to just BURY HIM!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
