Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The uberlube is also flammable
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
how drunk are you?
Several
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
