i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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