You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
