Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
