Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
