We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
