I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
