Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
