aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize