The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
