where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
