hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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