Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
