Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
