Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
