I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
