Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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