im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
