If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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